The conversation did not go as he expected.

“Retiring?!?!”, my boss said. “You’re retiring??? Let me pick my jaw up off the floor.”

I had messaged him earlier in the day asking for some time to cover a couple of issues. I started the conversation by saying I had one big thing to cover and some smaller items.

You can guess what the one big thing was.

I was nervous, as it was a conversation I’d never had before.  I explained probably more than I should.  I was committed to making it as smooth a transition as possible.  How the decision was made quickly, and recently. One of the drivers was our impending move to Panamà. 

“I’m jealous,” he said. “Sad for us, but jealous.”

The weeks that followed went quickly. I had the same variation of that conversation with many people. The reaction to my retirement was universal – happiness, wishing us well.

The reaction to our impending move was much more varied.

“That’s…..a big change.”

“That’s amazing.”

“What about your family?”

“What about health insurance?”

“You’re the coolest people I know.”

It was a quick decision, but the groundwork to make it happen had been laid over months and years.  We always knew we would move out of the country.  There were many reasons for that, and for choosing Panamà.  But now that I’d said the words to my boss, it all suddenly seemed real.

I told many people during that time that it felt like stepping off the edge of a cliff.

I’d be retired.  Free to do whatever I wanted.  We could travel, spend more time with the dogs.  I could write and build LEGO as much as I wanted.

But day to day structure would be gone.  While I would not miss 7:30 meetings, I would miss the people, the social interaction, the structure.  

Time to develop a new structure.  A new structure, in a new country.

Time to step off that cliff.